Why You Shouldn't Listen to the Voices In Your Head

First Paragraph: 

"It's Labor Day at Apache Lake when Natalie Merian climbs the ladder of the massive cabin cruiser. The noise level on board is like a concert. Most of the people, by her guess, are college age, a few years older than her at least. She tries not to be intimidated. Her friends, Mayra and Mike, follow close behind, the deck of the white and brown vessel is anchored near the north shore. The sun is shining on a cloudless day, a scorching one hundred degrees- and the alcohol seems endless, with four coolers open, frosted cans and bottles passed around with jovial acclaim."

  Amazon / Amazon.co.uk

Discretion by David Balzarini, is a thriller with supernatural elements.

PLOT 

Colin Wyle was in church the first time he heard her. Not a religious person himself, he was only there with his best friend, Jamal, and Jamal's family. She called herself Christel, and he was the only one who could hear her. From that moment on, she inhabits his mind, giving him advice and hints about the future. 

The very first thing she helps him with is winning the heart of the girl of his dreams- Natalie Merian- the good girl all the boys want. Colin is your typical awkward teen when it comes to matters of the heart, and Christel guides him and gives him confidence. Before they know it, the two are dating.

Four months later, and we reach the events of the prologue. Colin's father takes the happy couple out for a trip to the lake in his boat. The have fun goofing around, then settle down as the day does. Colin and his father both fall asleep. When they wake up, Natalie is gone. Exactly what happened is a mystery, but they believe she went willingly. If not, the ruckus would've woken them up, plus she left her shoes, but then why not tell them?

Hours pass, which turn to days and fingers begin pointing at Colin. His father hires a PI, Jackson, to prove his innocence, and track her down. But that's easier said than done. Until, three days later, when Christel tells Colin to follow Mike onto his boat. Mike is heading out with Mayra, back to the lake, with an arsenal of weapons- intent on bringing back their friend. With Christel's guidance they find a lone boat out on the lake. When the owners spot them, they immediately draw weapons, and Colin is forced to do the unthinkable to save all their skins. When they finally get on board, they find Natalie tied to a chair, still breathing.

Cut to 15 years later. Colin is now a successful portfolio manager- dealing with stocks all day, engaged to the beautiful Marisa, and living the high-life. Everything is coming up roses, until he gets a call from Jackson. The case with Natalie was never solved- as they always believed there was something more going on. Natalie's mind completely blanked her memories of those days, so the trail went dead. But now the case is being brought to light again, and the past with it- including Colin's. Jackson believes there's a much bigger problem- girls who went missing in the same days as Natalie, have started turning up again- dead, and with a mysterious tattoo on their wrists. The same tattoo one of the kidnappers had. 

Jackson is the only other person who knows about Christel, and others may not be so easily convinced of her authenticity. It's up to Colin to prove his innocence, and quickly. But why doesn't Christel want him to help Jackson? And is she really the gift he thought she was?

REVIEW

Discretion is a book that is hard to pin down. It starts off as a thriller- though a little slow-paced, but quickly spirals into a complicated, tangled plot involving religion- in some ambiguous way. The focus is more on Colin's lack of religion, and his friends' belief that he needs it. There is some plot around Christel, as well as the original plot with Natalie, but those are more in the background. There are a lot of random, irrelevant aspects, that don't add to the plot or story in any way, and just succeed in bogging down an already slow moving book.

The story starts off well, but loses itself around the '15 years later' mark. If the author had stuck with the original plot, the story could've been pretty good. Though I will give it this, the book is very good at creating an uneasiness. A tension surrounding Christel, and exactly what her motivations are. You can never be sure how much of the truth she is telling you. But then again, the whole book from that point on is a confused mess, one that makes it very hard to tell what's going on. 

I would say the book's focus is more on good and bad, and the fine line between them. You can do both, but in the end the scales will tip more one way than the other. It comes down to the nature of temptation and addiction. Because that is what Christel is- Colin's drug. Her true 'form' is almost irrelevant. She has been in Colin's mind for so long, that he needs her, to the point where he is willing to do anything to keep her. 

Like I mentioned earlier, the story becomes a little too bogged down with religion towards the end, and I'm afraid we get that rather irritating 'accepting God makes everything alright' ending- which I think is the ultimate cop-out. As though it solves everything. God and religion are not things that should ever be forced on someone. They are things you choose as an individual, and you should respect that others have the right to refuse them. Something I see often in books with Christian undertones is that the moment you let it in/convert, suddenly everything is miraculously better. That's not how it works. It's not a cure-all. What it is is a safety net-there to catch you if you fall. It's an authority, that allows people to believe that if someone does wrong, they will be held accountable for it. It is an idea- a concept. Nothing more. It changes nothing. Resolution through conversion is not  resolution. Yes, it can provide comfort or strength- as many things can- but it doesn't change the reality of the situation. 

The ending itself just sort of happens, and while it's written as though it's meant to be a satisfying conclusion, it is anything but. It is unbelievable to the point of ridiculousness. This is a mild spoiler, but that the book wants you to accept that one witness can bring down an entire prostitution ring led by a clearly well-established group is absurd. Especially as she is not a reliable witness- considering she was heavily drugged during her entire ordeal. 

Another not very satisfying conclusion is Christel. Unbelievably underwhelming and anti-climactic. She was the main interest of this story- at least for me- her origin and motives were the main reason I got through this book, and her storyline just fades away. It's left in the background and almost forgotten. 

In fact, very few of the questions raised are ever answered. Foe example, we don't even really know what happened with the mystery of Natalie. 

Overall, an interesting story, that was unfortunately let down by its ending, and irrelevant tangents. I personally believe that the religious tones could have worked, if they had been a little more ambiguous. Especially for non-Christian/ religious readers. I think even Christian readers would find it a little too shoe-horned in, and nonsensical. The characters start of well, but once you hit that '15 years later' point, become bland and devoid of much personality, not to mention Colin goes through a complete 180 on his- due to Christel's guidance perhaps. A book that had a lot of potential, but unfortunately, dropped the ball.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the author. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own. 

The Road To Redemption Is Paved With Satire and Fornication

First Paragraph: 

"And that night John went to bed without eating his dinner. Zonked on zolpidem and single malt scotch, wrapped tightly in his super-special 1,000 thread counts sheets and nestled comfortably on his newfangled memory foam-reclining- adjustable king-sized bed, John blacked out just after lying down. Peaceful nothingness swirled around him, tossing off flecks of gold and strands of cool blue. The ten thousand things fled and left in their place a cozy void."

   Amazon / Amazon.co.uk

Sloughing Off the Rot by Lance Carbuncle is a story with an odd mix of genres.

PLOT

John wakes up one morning to discover himself no longer in any recognisable place. His comfy bed replaced by hard ground and his soft pillow by a rock. He is pondering how he woke up in a cave, and the strange, dark hole a few feet away when a voice comes to him. The voice tells him he is "John the Revelator", followed by some Proclaimers' lyrics and some very ambiguous, unhelpful comments. 

The voice tells John he needs redemption. To reach it, he must follow the path, never straying lest he lose the path and become lost to it forever. 

The moment John exits the cave, he is met by a strange 'prophet-like' being, in the form of an almost naked hippie, who calls himself Santiago. Santiago is there to guide John, to walk beside him on the journey. However, Santiago is not the most stable of people, and John is now thoroughly confused. He can remember nothing of himself or his past, and he certainly wants nothing to do with this crazy, little man or his plans.

Lost in a desert, John just wants to find his way home. A burning bush tells him that he must follow the path to do so. This is John's second chance. He must follow the red-brick road of El Camino de la Muerte (The Way of Death) and never stray, if he wants to return. What happens on it and where it takes him is up to John.

With little choice, John sets off with the 'wise' Santiago at his side. Along the way they meet a vast assortment of characters. They are hunted by the zombie-like 'lunkheads'- who are men stripped down to nothing but their base desires. They are not the only wants hunting him.

REVIEW

A very weird, sometimes off-putting story. The best way to get through it is to not question it and follows John's example- just go with the flow. There's an odd mix of humour, fantasy and disturbing, adult horror. There are graphic scenes that may not be for the weak of heart, but there is also plenty of warmth to offset it. Though there are horror aspects, the character' reactions makes them seem less threatening and sickening. In fact, the characters just brush them off like nothing. They're almost horror without the horror.

Reading this book is like entering one of Salvador Dali's paintings- it's bleak, beautifully grotesque and utterly beyond description. Freud would have a field day. It's a bizarre mesh of adult versions of Alice in Wonderland and the Wizard of Oz. Especially the latter. It can be hard to know what's going on, and there's a confusion to match John's own. 

There are also a lot of Christian undertones (even John's name), all added in in a playful, semi-mocking manner. Not in a offensive way (though I'm sure some would disagree), more in a misplaced, I-think-there's-some-relevance-to-this-but-I-can't-find-it kind of way. Pop culture references are also blended into the mix, adding to the complete acid trip that is this book. 

The characters themselves are synonymous with the many different sides of people. The ego, the superego and the id. I'll leave it at that, so as not to spoil, but suffice to say they are a look into the human psyche. Though I will add that Santiago reminds me a little of a more explicit Zaphod Beeblebrox, minus the snazzy outfits, spaceship and extra head. He's quite charming in his own psychotic way.

Overall, I enjoyed this story. If this review got you interested, why not check it out? Though one tip? Don't overthink it too much, just let it be. Let it wash you through the pages, and only once you've finished the book should you think back and wonder what on Earth you just read.

Disclaimer: I received this book from the author through a giveaway. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own.

To Put Your Grief Behind You, You Cannot Do Nothing. You Must Look Forward and Take the First Step

First Paragraph:

"The first time I lost my husband, we were in Italy on our honeymoon. For the briefest of moments, as he walked toward me with our train tickets tucked in the back pocket of his jeans, the sunlight swallowed him. Even though he came back into view not more than a second later, my breath caught. I had this terrifying thought that something could happen. That moments were fleeting, and with the snap of a finger, he could be gone."

    Amazon /Amazon.co.uk

Wishing on Willows by Katie Ganshert is a contemporary romance novel. A second book, that I suppose you could call a sequel. It follows the same cast, around the same town.

If you'd like you can check out my review of Wildflowers from Winter (her first book) on my blog here: 

http://needtoreadgottowatch.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-harsher-winter-more-wildflowers.html

There will be a few spoilers of that book in this review, as it is a sequel. So if you want to read the first book first, check out that review for details. Spoilers of the first book beyond this point.

Set four years after the first, we return to Peaks, Iowa. Whereas the first story was focused mainly on Bethany, this book focuses on Robin. 

Now fully running her cafe- Willow Tree Cafe- and looking after nearly four-year-old Caleb, Robin is doing a lot better and finally beginning to recover from Micah's death. Their dream was to open a cafe, and through it Robin feels a little less lost in her loneliness. Her interaction with the community helps too. She's a member of One Life- a ministry that helps out the needy in the community, and runs a grief support group in her cafe, for those who have experienced similar hardships.

There are the usual bills to pay, business to run, son to watch growing up, thankfully all provided for by her inheritance and Micah's life insurance. Which is well as the cafe isn't getting enough clientele to stay in the black alone. She is still a young, grieving widow and coming to terms with it in her own time. The loneliness that comes with it and the understanding and acceptance that are necessary to heal, but hard to let in.

Her sister-in-law and roommate, Amanda, (along with a couple members of her support group) think it's time she got back on the horse and started dating again. Not just for her own well-being, but for Caleb's. But Robin isn't interested. Micah's memory is still too raw. How could they expect her to just move on?

Meanwhile, a new software company is opening outside the town, and with it there is the chance of increased business and more tax revenue for the residents of Peaks. There's talk of condominiums going up, to provide housing for the new employees. 

Ian McKay is following in his father's footsteps. A man who came from nothing and built a successful company. They are looking to develop the condos going up in Peaks. For Ian, this is a chance to prove himself- to the company and his father. To prove he isn't a failure. They need this deal. Without it the company will have to downsize and cut jobs. 

So Ian heads off to Peaks, leaving behind his past for a fresh start, at least while he's visiting. The problem- the condos are set to go up in the neglected downtown area. Where Robin's cafe is located. The only way the site can be secured is if Robin sells- which of course she has no plan on doing. The battle divides the town. Those who want increased revenue want Robin to sell, but there are those loyal to her and One Life- which will have to move to a higher rent area, and so will have less to give to the needy.

Ian and Robin are at odds, their plans opposite and put at risk by the other. Both equally as determined not to cave. Their fist meeting isn't exactly electric, but the possibility of sparks is there. The conditions are met, one strike and they'll light. However, their different agendas will cause entirely different sparks to fly.

Meanwhile, Amanda is trying to put a bad break-up behind her. She thought she'd found the one, until he up and left for Africa indefinitely on missionary work. She would've fought, but what could she say to that?

This is predominately a story about letting go and moving forward. The plot follows the age-old formula known to this genre, but hey, it works. Like many other authors of this genre, she likes to create friction between her characters. There's always initial dislike, cautious trust, misunderstandings, etc. Anyone familiar with the genre knows the ending before they've read the first line. You know exactly how the story will play out in terms of basic outline. 

But the characters offer their own personality quirks, fazed onto the character models that are always present in this genre, though they do offer something new each time. No matter how similar characters may be, they are not the same and neither are their situations, which stops them getting dull and repetitive. 

The same goes for the plot. The basic outline for romance novels is the same, but everything else still needs to be filled in, coloured, brought to life. Like kids with a colouring book. They are given the same lines, but every finished picture will be different. So it goes with outlines for books too. 

If you read the first book, this one offers more of the same. Both books are easily stand-alone if you're only interested in one. You're understanding of one is not dependent on having read the other, though you will have a little more filled in, especially when it comes to Robin.

The same characters are present, with a few new additions. They each have a warmth to them, which does well at welcoming the reader into their lives. I would've liked to see more of Bethany and Evan's lives, as they were the ones who captured us in the first book. There are only brief snippets of their lives in this book, told from Robin's point of view. A little disappointing, but understandable.

Robin's story was originally part of the first book, but cut down for Bethany's. So this book was formed, using the remnants and a new plot with a few extra characters. 

As with the first book, while God and Christianity play a part in the story and are very important to the characters, they are not the main focus. This is not written as a religious text with characters added, but as an in-depth story that Christianity happens to be a part of. This is the right way to add religion into your books, without them sounding preachy and off-putting and still being enjoyable to non-religious people or people with different faiths. 

Like the first book, the story ends with a new beginning, leaving the readers wanting more, but content with what they have. This is a feel-good book that will relate to anyone who's ever had to make a difficult choice (ie everyone) or had to comes to terms with something painful. The author likes to explore 'letting go' and accepting. Finding happiness through dark clouds of pain. Bringing colour back into the washed out, depleted world that is caused by deep-rooted grief. 

I thoroughly recommend both this book and the previous one to any fans of contemporary romance. If you're not a fan of religion in your fiction, I can still bet you'll enjoy these books. 

Disclaimer: I received this book through Blogging for Books. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own. 

The Harsher the Winter, The More Wildflowers Bloom in Spring

First Paragraph:

"The summer I turned twelve, I tried to kill myself. At least that's what the lifeguard told the paramedics and the paramedics told the doctors and the doctors told my mother. I don't deny I swam to the bottom of my public swimming pool. I don't even deny that I decided to stay there. I only defend my motives. My decision was much less about escaping this world and much more about joining another."

   Amazon /Amazon.co.uk

Wildflowers from Winter by Katie Ganshert is an interesting book about how things we perceive in our childhood, can affect us just as strongly in adulthood and actually shape the people we become.

Take Bethany Quinn. Our first meeting with her is during a flashback to when she was 12. She swam to the bottom of the local pool and stayed there, until the lifeguard pulled her out. After that, she was put in therapy and forever known as "the girl who tried to drown herself".  Little Bethany didn't think of it as trying to remove herself from this world, rather that she was trying to join another. To this day, she has never given a reason why she tried to kill herself.

16 years later, Bethany is now an architect living in Chicago. After what happened in her past, she couldn't get out of the small town of Peaks, Iowa fast enough. Now she devotes her time to advancing her career. Her mother is still in Peaks (along with her Grandpa Dan), her brother is in Afghanistan and her father is dead. Dominic, her boyfriend of 3 years, has asked her whether she wants to move in with him when her lease expires in a couple weeks. She's on track to become everything she ever wanted to be, and to escape from everything she was.

Then a call from her mother leaves her with a difficult choice. Her childhood friend, Robin, is in some trouble and could use someone to lean on. Her husband, Micah, fell into a coma after an aneurism and Bethany's mother thinks she should pay her old friend a visit. But to Bethany, the emphasis is on "old". She hasn't been back to Peaks in 10 years, and for good reason. She's tried to distance herself as much as possible from her past and the scars it caused her. But when her mother calls again later with more bad news, this time that her Grandpa Dan has had a heart attack, Bethany decides she can't stay away any longer. Her grandfather is one of the few things about Peaks she likes, and she's going to do anything she can to help him. Even if that means drudging up her painful past. 

She takes a week off work and heads back to her childhood town. But, things haven't changed there in Bethany's eyes, and she feels just as welcome there as she did all those years ago. After a less than promising meeting with a stranger named Evan (who works on Dan's farm), she just wants to see her grandfather. When she discovers that Evan lives on the farm, they both have to form a truce to keep Dan happy. Bethany has spent all these years trying to hide the pain within her and stop anyone getting through her carefully placed defences, but Evan sees right through them. As he puts it, she's a "piece of glass pretending to be steel". 

At first, Bethany doesn't know why Evan is so cold towards her, until she finds out that he's Micah's brother, and is upset that Bethany hasn't once asked about her old friend. She musters the courage to finally visit her friend, just in time to learn that Micah is brain-dead and Robin has to make the decision whether or not to turn his life support off. A young widow, Robin struggles (as anyone would) and leans on Bethany for support. But Bethany doesn't want anything to tie her to Peaks. She wants to leave A.S.A.P..

A few days later, she finally decides she's had enough and bolts back to Chicago, but when things take a turn for the worse (again and again and again), she finds herself back in Peaks for a more permanent stay. She finds it hard to deal with, especially when she learns that Evan is Christian and seeing how Robin relies on the religion.

Bethany has a lot of painful memories when it comes to religion, Christianity in particular. When she was 8, her father (also a farmer- who worked with his father, Grandpa Dan) slipped off their silo and was paralysed. The local pastor, Pastor Fenton, convinced her mother that he'd fallen as a punishment from God. In his words, "only sinners suffered". This man's words were responsible for tearing her family apart and made her hate the religion, In her young mind, Pastor Fenton and God were the same, and it stuck true into her adult years. 8 months after his accident, her father died, and Pastor Fenton told her mother he was burning in Hell. When she met Robin, at age 12, her new friend assured her that it wasn't true and that her father wasn't in a pit of torment, burning for all eternity, as the Pastor claimed. Years later (after Robin met Micah at university), Bethany felt betrayed when Robin embraced Christianity. For her, accepting it would be embracing Pastor Fenton's words as truth.

So, she completely shuts herself off from everyone after that. She builds walls around herself and never lets anything negative escape, in the fear that she may be washed away by the flood of emotions. For people who do this, it is only a matter of time before the dam breaks and the water rushes in. In the meantime, pain keeps on growing and the water rises.

This is a story of healing. Learning to forgive, accept and like who you are. To find the truth in the lies we have been told. To learn to trust again. Bethany must accept that Pastor Fenton is just a man, not a religion, before she can begin to heal and let anyone in.

At the same time, we get brief moments from Robin's POV. Having just lost the man she loved, doubting her religion and trying to rekindle her friendship with a woman who detests everything she believes in. Together, they try to pull themselves out of the dark past.

The characters are likeable enough. At first, Bethany's a little prickly and can come across as cold and  uncaring, but for anyone who has seen the signs before, it's clear that what she's really doing is trying to protect herself. People can't hurt you if you don't let them get close. Of course, not letting anyone in leaves you lonely, and bottling up your emotions will eventually take its toll on you. 

I really liked the meaning of the title, when you learn what it is. It's very apt, not just to this story, but to everyone. The basic meaning behind it, is that the harsher the winter, the more wildflowers will grow come spring. Basically, good things can come out of dark times, if you'll only push through them. 

The one criticism I have is the ending. Or rather the abruptness of it. It was more of a one-page conclusion to me, and for all the build-up we get, I would've liked a little more pay-off. This is a series, but that's not a reason to race through the ending. It's not like we're left on a cliffhanger, just a very quick ending. The resolution is there, we just don't get to see much of it. Especially since the next book is going to focus more on Robin. I do plan on checking it out, so in that review I'll let you know just how much we see of Bethany's new life.

For those who are wondering, this is a Christian based book, but told in a way that is different from many books that centre on religion. Of the Christian books I've read (and I must admit, those are few), a lot of them can come across as preachy. That God is your only redemption and only fools and sinners turn Him away. But in this book, the religion has an actual connection to the story. It's not shoehorned in. It is a tale of accepting religion, but told in a way where it's more a story of Bethany understanding religion and coming to terms with her prejudice of it. It's written so that it almost feels like a book not about Christianity at all. The religion is just a plot point. 

If you don't like Christian books (and I must admit I'm not a great fan), I would still suggest reading this one. It's not preachy. Whenever someone mentions religion, it's more their views and opinions of it, and why they made it a part of their lives, as opposed to a book trying to convert people to Christianity with a flimsy plot as an excuse. The story itself is enjoyable and entertaining. If you're interested, why not check it out?

Disclaimer: I received this book through the Blogging for Books program. You can find more details here: http://www.waterbrookmultnomah.com/bloggingforbooks/
This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own.

For All Those Who Have Ever Doubted Themselves

First Paragraph:

"Hey guys! We should be there in about ten minutes. Start gathering up any trash, and make sure you have all your stuff with you when you get out of the van. I may have to park a little distance away from the school, and you will not be waking me up at midnight to go looking for the iPod you left under the seat."

           Amazon /Amazon.co.uk

Girl on a Mission by Cindy Ellis

Starring Emery Craig, our 13-year-old leading lady (or girl), this story revolves around helping those less fortunate and showing what a difference someone can make to another's life, with just the smallest actions. 

On her first mission trip, going to Crawley, West Virginia, Emery starts out as a shy girl who eventually grows into her skin and gains confidence through people she meets, situations she's put in and confirmation of her beliefs. She watches real suffering, feels real pain and experiences her first real romance.

I was very fascinated with the character of Mr.Suitor. He is so very human and his story is deeply moving and well told. For me, this book has two main characters, Emery and Mr.Suitor. Together they carry the story well and, once into the second half of the book, they really shine. The plot is simple enough, but written so that you feel what the characters do, you experience the same fear, dread, happiness, love and it's all down to the writing.

Now the religious elements were done well enough. I myself am not religious and older readers or those like myself (without religion) may find certain parts of the book a little preachy or even condescending. However, I enjoyed this book, so it's not distracting enough that I couldn't appreciate the storyline. 

I would say this book is aimed at younger readers, just in their teens or tweens, because the main character is more relatable, but mostly because it's very moral heavy. There are a lot of them wedged in there, so older readers may not enjoy that aspect so much, but overall it's a nice, feel-good story about growing up, overcoming obstacles and accepting yourself. I recommend it to anyone who never really felt like they fit in, who may be afraid to let their true personalities shine through, any younger readers who just want a nice read, any older readers who want to recapture memories of their youth or anyone (especially younger readers) who doubts their belief in God. Whether or not this will help your faith I can't comment on, but it's always good to get someone else's perspective and to know you're not alone.

Disclaimer: I was sent this book through a Librarything giveaway. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own. If you want to learn more about Librarything, you can do so here: http://www.librarything.com.