Gore, Lore, "The Roar" and More Than Enough Ice

First Paragraph: 

"My name is Norman Leonard and at one time I lived in Liverpool, North West England, with my wife Chrissy. We were among the stubborn few that stayed. The speed of the advancing ice had taken everyone by surprise and the edge of the glacier had already reached the ruins of the Forth Road Bridge, the old one, not the narrow one-lane nightmare they threw up some years back when a heavy ice storm finally snapped the suspension cables. Before long, the glacier would rumble its ponderous path down into England and pretty soon Cumbria would become as uninhabitable as Scotland had been for the last five years."


  Amazon /Amazon.co.uk


Hard Winter: The Novel by Neil Davies is a dystopian horror/thriller.

PLOT

The year is 2118. The world is rapidly falling prey to mother nature, as she brutally crushes it with inescapable, unstoppable ice. It is unclear how the world got into this state, but we'll put it down to global warming mixed with the nuclear winter of 2062.

Norman and his wife Chrissy live in Liverpool. When "the freeze" happened two years ago, all the 'VIP's' were evacuated from the city. Many others left, and Liverpool is as lifeless and bleak as the grey skies that bare down on it. Norman and Chrissy are forever on the move. Little by little the glacier advances, pushing them out of whatever abandoned building they called home. And everyday they have the same conversation, stay or leave? Chrissy believes the government will eventually step-up and come back for those who remain. Norman retains his life-long cynicism of mankind. Travelling is undeniably dangerous, but the approaching glacier is inevitable- eventually they will have to move. What's holding them back is fear. They have no destination, no shelter, no food. With no law and order, other people are a threat, as hungry eyes hunt for easy prey. Large groups could provide safety, but trust is hard to come by in these harsh times, especially with rumours of cannibalism spreading through the figurative grapevine.

But when the River Mersey floods, destroying everything Norman holds dear, the choice is taken. There is no more time. It's leave or die. South or bust. So begins his harrowing journey through pain, exhaustion, grief, frostbite, infection and fear. 

Along the way, various people will flash through his life, but his deep mistrust for others keeps them at a distance. And the terrifying Norseman and inexplicable giants that follow close behind keep him moving, while all the time one question haunts him- is there anywhere left to go?

REVIEW

As with most post-apocalyptic stories, the focus is more about the people. How they adapt and change when their existence depends on it. When law and order is wiped and responsibility is meaningless. The cruelty and ruthlessness of those who will do anything to survive. However, this story also places a lot of emphasis on community. On the kindness of strangers. For the setting, Norman meets a surprising amount of people on his journey. Yes, I suppose it's not like there's dangerous, human-seeking zombies out and about, forcing people to hide. Other than the ice and humanity itself, there isn't much threat, so unlike zombiepocalypses- where most of humanity is instantly zombiefied or dead, we still have a lot of people about. However there are still dangerous people about. Cannibalistic raiders for one. Who have trained wolves. If there's anything I've learnt from this genre, it's that the end of the world tends to bring out the worst in people, and I would be inclined to have a little more self-preservation that most of the people Norman meets seem to have. There were looters, addicts and murderers long before the apocalypse hit, and it's only going to get worse. There are plenty of people willing to sell out their humanity in order to keep it a little longer. 

I know the author was focusing on the good in people (as well as the bad- since there is no such thing as purely good or bad people), but I'm not sure how realistic that is. Yes, there are kind people who would help, but would you trust a random stranger knowing that it was quite literally a life or death decision? The only reason the untrusting Norman is even involved with them is because he would be dead anyway without them, so there was no harm giving it a shot. But that's what the story focuses on. The people who will trust without anything to gain.

The plot itself is pretty non-existent to be honest. Not necessarily a bad thing. The whole concept is running. Trying to outrun something that can never be escaped, for the sake of it. Because why wouldn't you? Even if you know you're just delaying the inevitable, why wouldn't you run to the very last step?

The future setting is more of warning factor, I think. As far as I can make out, absolutely nothing is different a hundred years in the future- other than the fact that ice rules the world. And impossible, gigantic creatures run ahead of it, killing everything in their path. But judging by the characters' responses, I doubt that's the norm. 

Speaking of, the Icelandic Trolls (or whatever they are) were certainly chilling in their immenseness, but ultimately irrelevant and unnecessary, what with the encroaching glaciers from all sides that will eventually encase the entire world in ice- killing everything in the process. Though they do provide a more immediate threat, and create some tension that running from a slow block of ice (albeit a very fast slow-moving block of ice) wouldn't quite convey.

Not the most hopeful of endings, but what can you expect? There's an inevitability that can't simply be deus ex machina-d away- well I suppose it could, but not very convincingly, and would've left me with a little bit of not-a-happy-bunny-syndrome, so I'm glad there was no easy answer- not that fantasy horror/thrillers are known for easy endings. 

My main criticism is the main character himself- Norman. He's a hard character to hate, but also to like. To be honest, I had no strong feelings either way- which is a shame since we see everything through his eyes, and therefore spend a lot of time in his mind. He has a tendency towards extreme self-pity- which is arguably very human, but also very annoying when a lot of the book is him thinking about how little he thinks of himself, how selfish he is, how much he hates himself. It can become a little grating as page after page after page, Norman feels sorry for himself. Wishing he was braver, cursing his cowardice. It's relatable, but I got tired of it very quickly, and wanted to smack some sense into him. For goodness sake man, I know the situation is bad, I know you've lost a lot, and you've made some mistakes, but get on with your life, instead of curling up in a ball of self-hatred. If you feel so bad about being untrusting or being a burden, if you feel guilty above past sins, then man-up and take action. Make the change, because it's not going to happen with you moping in the corner, drowning your sorrows with bitterness. He is aware of this, but it only makes him hate himself that much more. Every time he takes a step in the right direction, he falls and retreats even further back, with more and more guilt and fear holding him there. To his credit, he does try, but always despises himself for not doing more.

He does develop a few exceptions as the story progresses- through necessity more than anything (fair enough)- but they make him more vulnerable because of it. It is very human, but in this adapt-or-die world, I struggle to understand how he survived so long through anything but sheer dumb luck, since he seems so incapable of doing anything. I can understand that most people would not instantly be survivalist experts, but it's been two years. How can you survive two years without learning anything?

I think a lot of people may disagree with me on this front- citing him as realistic and well-rounded, but when you have someone as self-depracating as Norman as your main character, and have to listen to his self-hatred for two hundred and fifty pages, it can wear a little thin. He does eventually snap out of it, but it's so late in the game that it's pretty inconsequential. I think if the book had been based around ending Norman it would've been so much better. A Norman who still thinks little of himself, but manages not to let that get in the way of actually doing something. Who can put that to one side when push comes to shove and people are in danger. Yes it is realistic, and yes it may be human, but how much do you want to listen to someone whine about how useless they are? 

Overall, a dark, brutal read, with cannibalism, mass-murder, rape, buckets of gore and a lot of violence. It is certainly not for the faint of heart. An interesting premise and a story that focuses a lot on the connections between people. The bonds, the cruelty and the kindness. As to the genre, I suppose it could be considered a horror/thriller/adventure with a little fantasy thrown in, but it comes across as more of an exploration of the human psyche, set against a backdrop that tears down all the social walls people normally hide behind . 

Even with my gripe with Norman, I still enjoyed this book. It had tension, it had fear. If you don't like gore, this may be a little too intense for you, but if you're a fan of more adult-themed dystopian stories, this may be right up your street. If you're put off by my views of Norman, think as I did. Norman is like that one person you find yourself stuck with during the apocalypse. He's whiny and annoying (though you can see where he's coming from), but he's still a person, and that alone is enough of a reason to stick by him.

Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own.

If You Go Down to the Woods Today, You're Sure of a Big Surprise

First Paragraph:

"Trevor reached out his hand and turned down the stereo in the minivan. He cocked an eyebrow at his girlfriend, Sarah, sitting next to him in the passenger seat. "Wait, are you seriously telling me that women are better drivers than men? Seriously?"

    Amazon / Amazon.co.uk

Whisper Lake by James Melzer is a story that follows the usual serial-slasher formula.

PLOT

As with pretty much all slasher stories, a group of teens (in this case four) drive out to the middle of nowhere, preferably surrounded by forests and non-existant cell phone coverage, and find their fun times getting wasted and high are interrupted by a psycho in said forest. They scream, they cry, they argue, they die. Age-old formula that anyone familiar with the genre will recognise and predict. The characters, the plot, the psycho. All filling out the moulds that countless others have used in the past. The characters themselves even lampshade it, stating how cliche the script is, with one of them quipping "There's no killer on the loose, idiot." Which of course is a death sentence in this genre. 

Trevor is travelling down to his grandmother's cabin with his girlfriend, Sarah, and best friend Kincaid- along with his girlfriend, Amy. The four have been good friends for years, and they're planning one last 'hoorah' before heading off to college in the Fall. His grandmother passed away three months ago, and his parents have asked him to clean her cabin up and get it presentable to sell. 

So off they go to the isolated cabin on Whisper Lake. When they get there they find the lights already on and the front door open. They decide to inspect the place and find gutted animal carcasses in the kitchen. Fresh ones. Along with an armoury worth of hunting weapons. Though spooked, they decide to stay anyway, believing it was probably just a squatter, and the two men get to work cleaning up the kitchen- which includes removing the carcass of a stag. There's obvious evidence that someone has been living in the cabin, and recently, but if they did the sensible thing and left, there would be no story. Their reasoning is that with all the weapons in the kitchen, even if someone comes back they could defend themselves. 

Switch to obligatory psycho POV, as he watches from afar. He'll give them this last night, before he descends.

REVIEW

You know what to expect. Sex, gore, etc. All the usual elements that make up teen slasher stories. Though that doesn't make them any less enjoyable. For the most part it's fairly predictable, but I was surprised by a couple things. The POV switches a few times, to either killer POV, victim POV or random POV in the manner of slasher flicks. 

It's unusual to see thriller/horror this short, but it works well for what it is. It also means that the pace is very fast. You have four teens, one killer and less than a hundred pages. Though having said that, I would've liked it to be just a little longer, so that it was more drawn out and the tension can build further. What works so well in this genre is the fear, the not knowing, the helplessness, and adding a little more of that is never a bad thing. 

It starts off strong, but loses momentum towards the end. The ending was the only thing I really have criticisms for, it gets a little off track and just happens. Not in a sudden stop kind of way, but in an ambling it's just over kind of way. One of the group is never accounted for. I can only assume what happened to them. 

The villain is suitably phantom-of-the-opera-esque, mixed in with a little Jason for good measure. A tormented, insane man, who doesn't really need a reason to kill you, but God help you if you give him one. 

OVERALL

An entertaining, quick read, which fans of the genre are sure to enjoy.

Disclaimer: I received this book from the author through a giveaway. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own.

The Road To Redemption Is Paved With Satire and Fornication

First Paragraph: 

"And that night John went to bed without eating his dinner. Zonked on zolpidem and single malt scotch, wrapped tightly in his super-special 1,000 thread counts sheets and nestled comfortably on his newfangled memory foam-reclining- adjustable king-sized bed, John blacked out just after lying down. Peaceful nothingness swirled around him, tossing off flecks of gold and strands of cool blue. The ten thousand things fled and left in their place a cozy void."

   Amazon / Amazon.co.uk

Sloughing Off the Rot by Lance Carbuncle is a story with an odd mix of genres.

PLOT

John wakes up one morning to discover himself no longer in any recognisable place. His comfy bed replaced by hard ground and his soft pillow by a rock. He is pondering how he woke up in a cave, and the strange, dark hole a few feet away when a voice comes to him. The voice tells him he is "John the Revelator", followed by some Proclaimers' lyrics and some very ambiguous, unhelpful comments. 

The voice tells John he needs redemption. To reach it, he must follow the path, never straying lest he lose the path and become lost to it forever. 

The moment John exits the cave, he is met by a strange 'prophet-like' being, in the form of an almost naked hippie, who calls himself Santiago. Santiago is there to guide John, to walk beside him on the journey. However, Santiago is not the most stable of people, and John is now thoroughly confused. He can remember nothing of himself or his past, and he certainly wants nothing to do with this crazy, little man or his plans.

Lost in a desert, John just wants to find his way home. A burning bush tells him that he must follow the path to do so. This is John's second chance. He must follow the red-brick road of El Camino de la Muerte (The Way of Death) and never stray, if he wants to return. What happens on it and where it takes him is up to John.

With little choice, John sets off with the 'wise' Santiago at his side. Along the way they meet a vast assortment of characters. They are hunted by the zombie-like 'lunkheads'- who are men stripped down to nothing but their base desires. They are not the only wants hunting him.

REVIEW

A very weird, sometimes off-putting story. The best way to get through it is to not question it and follows John's example- just go with the flow. There's an odd mix of humour, fantasy and disturbing, adult horror. There are graphic scenes that may not be for the weak of heart, but there is also plenty of warmth to offset it. Though there are horror aspects, the character' reactions makes them seem less threatening and sickening. In fact, the characters just brush them off like nothing. They're almost horror without the horror.

Reading this book is like entering one of Salvador Dali's paintings- it's bleak, beautifully grotesque and utterly beyond description. Freud would have a field day. It's a bizarre mesh of adult versions of Alice in Wonderland and the Wizard of Oz. Especially the latter. It can be hard to know what's going on, and there's a confusion to match John's own. 

There are also a lot of Christian undertones (even John's name), all added in in a playful, semi-mocking manner. Not in a offensive way (though I'm sure some would disagree), more in a misplaced, I-think-there's-some-relevance-to-this-but-I-can't-find-it kind of way. Pop culture references are also blended into the mix, adding to the complete acid trip that is this book. 

The characters themselves are synonymous with the many different sides of people. The ego, the superego and the id. I'll leave it at that, so as not to spoil, but suffice to say they are a look into the human psyche. Though I will add that Santiago reminds me a little of a more explicit Zaphod Beeblebrox, minus the snazzy outfits, spaceship and extra head. He's quite charming in his own psychotic way.

Overall, I enjoyed this story. If this review got you interested, why not check it out? Though one tip? Don't overthink it too much, just let it be. Let it wash you through the pages, and only once you've finished the book should you think back and wonder what on Earth you just read.

Disclaimer: I received this book from the author through a giveaway. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own.

Many Different Killers Lined Up in a Row, Ready To Fill Your Lives With Chaos and Woe

First Paragraph:

"Assistant District Attorney Keith Foster sat down at his kitchen table with a steamy coffee mug and picked up The Azalea County Herald. The headline above the fold made him grimace."

   Amazon /Amazon.co.uk

These Unquiet Bones by Dean Harrison is the epitome of a horror/thriller.

The story starts in Alabama during 1982. There's a mass slaughter in the news and the small town is dealing with the repercussions.

Cut to decades later. Seventeen year old Amy Snow wakes up after yet another bad dream. Always the same one. Always featuring the hidden face of a man she's named The Nightmare Man. Her dream is a memory from four years ago. Her mother's murder and an unknown man coming for her, looking to collect. 

When her mother died, police searched for her murderer, but no trace was ever found. They had no evidence to go on. Amy's young mind blocked out the events after her mother's murder, and has two missing days that are complete blanks. She remembers being grabbed by the unknown man, then waking up in a hospital bed two days later. Her therapist said the mind represses traumatic events to protect itself. That the memories may come back, but they never did. 

Amy is desperate for answers. To find the identity of the Nightmare Man is to destroy him, to stop him haunting her dreams, and to get justice for her mother. After her mother dies, suspicions turned to her father. A violent, abusive drunk, who her mother had recently kicked out of the house. But he's also an ex-cop, and he had a watertight alibi. Her maternal grandparents blamed him, but Amy hates them for it. The only parent she has left, she doesn't want to believe he could've had anything to do with it. 

Adam is a killer. A sadistic, quite insane, ritualistic killer. He fights for a cause known only to him. He is searching for 'Eve', but not just any 'Eve'- the 'Eve'. The Lost One. He's on a mission from "God" to restore paradise. To bring back the Garden of Eden. To this end, he has to sacrifice 'Eve'. So far, all he's found are 'decoys', but he'll search for as long as it takes. To take revenge on Eve for tempting Adam to eat the forbidden fruit. He must punish her and right the wrongs, so that Eden may rise again. Adam is a 'fundamentalist' with a psychotic streak and little value for human life. Almost ironic, considering his cause.

Amy's father, Hank, has a secret. One that has haunted him for most of his life. One that causes him to obsessively drink, so the ghosts can be kept at bay. He loves his daughter, but the alcohol ruins him. Makes his abusive. He hates it, but he doesn't stop drinking.

Teenage girls have started going missing. The police don't think too much about it. Only three girls are missing, all believed to be runaways that'll turn up eventually. 

Layne is Amy's best friend. He's also deeply in love with her. But he too has a secret. A dark past, something he can't control. Something that occasionally controls him. 

Lots of different points of view in this book. There's a few more that I haven't mentioned, because I don't want to give too much away. Despite so many different POVs, it's not confusing. Most of the story focuses around Amy and (a little less so) Hank. A broken family that have a hard time trusting each other. Every family has a few skeletons in the closet, and Hank's certainly does. 

Each character has their own ghosts. Which is really the focus of the story. The darkness each character has and the way they deal with it, or don't. How real are the ghosts that haunt them? How real do they need to be? 

Every character is damaged. Some use that as an excuse to damage others, while the rest attempt to fix themselves, to rise above it. Even when their demons are still dragging them down.

A lot of the characters are not necessarily what you'd call the nicest people, or even good people, but most of them at least have a little good inside them that'll occasionally shine through. I'm torn between like and hate with most of them. They do unforgivable things, but because we see through their eyes (and the eyes of those who trust and love them) we are made to feel sympathy for them. Though, not all of them. The few genuinely good people, we want to protect and save, but are left utterly helpless to do so. 

Religious fanaticism seems to be all the rage in horror/thrillers at the moment. Perhaps because of how easy it is to use as a mark of insanity. A terrifying one at that. To use religion as a reason for hurting anyone is wrong, but when the 'God' they claim guides them is one that exists only for them, it becomes all the more chilling. To take a dark voice in their head and make it the voice of 'God' creates a deeply disturbing character, but a good antagonist. In their minds they do no wrong, quite the opposite in fact.

This is an intensely tense book that keeps you guessing and strapped to your seat. The story starts off a little slow, but quickly builds in the traditional horror/thriller paced way. It's a very dark book. Not 'PG'. There's a lot of violence and the atmosphere is foreboding and oppressive. The plot twists, turns and writhes, occasionally giving the reader glimpses of what's going on, but never enough to reveal.

At the end, people are left picking up the pieces. There is resolution, but it's more straining than satisfying. In the end, I found that the reasons were unimportant. That I really didn't care 'why' or 'what' or 'who'. They just don't matter. There is so much suffering and violence in this story, helping to fuel the tension, that when it's over, you just feel weary and drained. It's very well done by the author, to make the reader feel the after effects along with the characters.

Overall, I enjoyed this book. It's very dark, which can make it a hard read, but it's worth it. The characters are gritty and not only flawed, but chipped and broken. Most of them are pretty unpleasant, which is something I haven't seen very often in a book. It's too dark to be a thriller, and the horror is a mix of the 'monsters-in-the-closet' young adult genre and the 'anything-to-be-disturbing' adult one. It's an interesting mix. Most horror will either try to scare you or disturb you. This does both. It's also a good look into the human psyche. To how much damage a person can sustain and how they deal with it.  

Sometimes we can't forget. No matter how hard we try, our ghosts are always there. They always come back. So no matter what, never try to bury the unquiet bones.

Disclaimer: I received this book from the author through a giveaway. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own.

Just More Proof That Visiting a Small Island Is a Bad Idea

First Paragraph:

"Velocity. It was like flying three feet above the tarmac. Wind rushed against him, roared in his ears, and he let out a whoop of excitement. This was living: taking the turns in the road at high speed, every one a risk and a reward."

    Amazon /Amazon.co.uk

Turner by Karl Drinkwater is a fast-paced story horror/thriller. 

The book starts '2 months ago' and introduces us to Tom Stanley- a cycling fanatic. He loves to spend his holidays out in the wild, undisturbed parts of Wales, with nothing but his bike. This time he's headed for a small village in Anglesey, Wales- courtesy of a creepy story from a friend. Why he's going to an island that so spooked his comrade, is probably one of those human nature things I'll never understand. 

The destination he's heading for is Stawl Island (better known as Devil Island- translated directly from the Welsh), a tiny village on the coast. The theory is that the name came from piracy in the thirteenth century. There is another rumour. One that says the name came about because Satanists occupied the island. The island is occasionally connected to the mainland by a sandbar- subject to tides and weather. 

Once in the village, he feels a kind of unease and eeriness about the place. It's too quiet and the villagers are a little 'off'. Nonetheless, he decides to stay the night, but the village may have other plans for him.

Cut to the present. We are slowly introduced to three new characters. First, Chris- who has been living on the island for two weeks. Around thirty and with a bit of a past, he's come to the village looking for a new place to start a peaceful life. He too has noticed odd things about the place. For one, women are rarely seen, apart from the mysterious Bran Ddu- who exudes an odd, unnatural air. 

Now on the hunt for a job, he takes a tip from the local barman and heads towards the logging camp. After a night of drinking, he gets to the camp hours later than arranged and finds it empty- abandoned. 

Next we meet David- a young cop who has also recently moved to the island. He requested the transfer after an incident at his last post, and is looking for the relaxation that comes with a tiny community with no crime. He has a love of jogging, and often goes jogging around the island with his dog Spotty. But he's not the only thing running through the forests. 

Finally Megan- who's taken herself on a camping holiday in order to persuade herself that she's completely and utterly, 100% over her ex. She's been on the island for three days, watching the wildlife and solving a puzzle book she brought along. 

The three characters are all eventually thrown together. All three go through varying degrees of awareness about what exactly is going on on the island. Soon, all three find themselves on the run, but escape is barred by the lack of a sandbar. A storm is upon them and it's vicious waves have tossed the sand aside. They have nowhere to go. No choice but to wait for the sandbar to reform. They'll have to wait it out and hope they survive long enough to get the chance.

First impressions of this story are as follows. The first time we see the village, it is immediately creepy and unsettling. For anyone who is genre-savvy, you'll instantly expect the worse. There are a lot of homages to various horror films in this book, and the first few scenes in the village reminded me a lot of King Kong and Deliverance. The villagers communicate in an unknown language (unknown to the protagonists anyway) and give off a creepy aura. Common sense denies there's anything wrong, but instinct screams for you to run. On a small side note, if I was ever in a situation of being in one of those creepy towns or villages from so many horror movies, I would follow my instincts. Between mild embarrassment and horrific death, I certainly know which one I'd choose. 

Some of the timeframes can be a little confusing until later in the book. Until Megan, Chris and David all met up, I hadn't realised they were there at the same time. But that's only the half of it. This is a very confused story, but for good reason. It is a chaotic string of events, that eventually tie together. There are a few leads that go absolutely nowhere, and some things that seem of grave importance are, in fact, meaningless. 

I've been quite ambiguous about the plot because we are given so little information. Anything I tell you could spoil the story. I don't want to mention anything beyond first impressions of the characters, for fear of ruining the book. Which leaves me with very little that I can actually tell you about the story.

We are given the same information as the protagonists- which is very little. The 'why's', 'who's', 'what's' and 'how's' are predominant. Why is is happening? Who are these people? Who can be trusted? How can they escape? What the hell is going on? We gain understanding as they do- if they do. For obvious reasons, they aren't exactly in the loop, and so, neither are we. We do get a little more information than they do, but it doesn't really help to make any sense out of anything. Which can make the events very hard to grasp, but create that brilliantly terrifying fear that comes from being hunted and from not knowing why. The tension is palpable. 

There are a lot of 'dark magic' elements to this. How much of any of it is real, is unclear. I'm pretty sure it's mostly rubbish, intended to brainwash the necessary people, but I could be wrong. It's dark science or dark magic or just dark nature. 

The climax is the only thing I really have any criticisms for. When we get the reason behind everything, it just seems a little flat and unoriginal. The build-up to it is so raw and substantial, that the ending is just a little overshadowed by it. The villain is one of the most disappointing aspects.  The actual ending after the climax peters out a little, but still manages to keep that unease. Having said that, neither the climax, the villain or the ending are bad, they're just not as great as the bulk of the story. The villains reasons are their own. To them, the reason is everything. To us, it's not really a reason. I know I said the end is a little lacklustre. We aren't given any answers up to that point, and when we finally get the big one I was expecting a little more. In the end though, the reason is irrelevant. 

When we start to get those answers, they can be even more terrifying. It's human nature to want to know 'why', but the cold truth of it is that sometimes some people, some things, don't need a 'why'. As you drown in the confusion and fear paralyses your body and mind, the 'why' won't really matter. What difference would it make, knowing the reason for the madness? Sometimes, it is better not to know. 

There are a lot of horror aspects to this story, but without taking them too far into the genre. I would class this book somewhere in between horror and thriller. There is a lot of violence and gore, but it's also integral to the story- which is very much a thriller trait. Often horror has violence and gore for the sheer hell of it, with no reasoning behind it other than to shock the audience.

Any horror themes present are more young adult based than adult based. Young adult horror mostly revolves around the monster in the closet, the things that go 'boo', urban legends and myths. Adult horror is generally more psychological, and a lot of it applies the 'shock' method of adding things in for the sole purpose of being shocking, gruesome or disgusting. There's no necessity. It has no effect on the story. If it's a movie or a game, it's the same principle as adding in jumpscares. They're completely irrelevant, serve no purpose, but always scare the audience (unless they're terrible).

I admit that between the two, I am much more a fan of the urban legend inspired young adult horror and not much of a fan of adult horror. Make no mistake, horror is horror. And this book does horror. It will creep down your spine and tense your muscles. Those myths and legends that inspire young adult horror, have always been scarier to me. Adult horror disturbs me more, but children's horror was always more terrifying because those monsters and demons always seemed so real to me. When we're alone and in the dark, it's the monsters we feared as children that haunt the shadows.

Somewhat of a digress there, but back on track now. Overall, I very much enjoyed this book. This is one of those books where the story will carry you more than the characters. To me the characters are almost irrelevant. We are given very little background on any of them. They mostly take a back-seat, and just get carried through by the plot. Very typical of horror. Anyone who's seen any horror movie will know the basic characters you get in every one. For the most part, they're just vessels that allow us to see the events, and that's what these characters are. 

A little background before you go. There actually is a Stawl Island. It is a small village in Wales and even has it's own Lord. It was a hotbed for pirates. There's even a sandbar that connects it to the mainland. However, everything else (you'll be glad to know) is entirely fictitious. In fact, the island wasn't even open to tourists, but after this book, the current Lord of Stawl Island is thinking about changing that. 

This book is a fast-paced, nerve fraying, seat grabber of a story. It starts off a little slow, but once it gets going, there is absolutely no stopping it. 

Disclaimer: I received this book from the author through a giveaway. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own. 

A Bipolar Writer, With a Chaotic Mind and an Alter Ego Named Gideon

 

First Paragraph:

"No screaming this time. Nobody drying out with the DTs, no meth-mouths groaning through  black teeth. I kept my eyes shut and willed myself through the walls."

  Amazon /Amazon.co.uk 


What Makes You Die by Tom Piccirilli is an odd read.

The main character, Tommy Pic, may share the author's name, but I am assured that all characters and event are fictitious (though to what extent, who knows?). The story starts with him waking up in a psych ward, strapped down to a bed (a commonplace occurrence for him apparently). The last time he woke up with the straps, was a couple years previously, when he attempted to 'hara-kiri' himself with a steak knife. Not because he wanted to die (necessarily), but because he was trying to get Gideon out. Gideon lives in his stomach, and is the ghost of a giant komodo dragon- who lived during the Pleistocene Age, and whose fossil is now on display in the Queensland Museum in Australia. For those wondering, it didn't work. He lost four foot of intestine, but Gideon is still inside him.

A depressive, bipolar,  alcoholic, who is subject to frequent blackouts, Tommy is lost in the past. He is a screenwriter, though somewhat of a failed one. There was a time when he was moving up in the scene, living in Hollywood, he had the world in his hands. A few of his scripts were picked up, but then changes were made, he lost his spark and all his money and is now most famous for films he despises, and living in his mother's basement. 

His father died when he was eight, one of his friends went missing a few years later, and his wife left him when his career took a downward turn. Memories haunt him, and due to his imagination and profession, they play out in front of him, like one of his movies, with full surround-sound. He spends hours lost in his own mind. He focuses on his failings and his losses, creating a bleak environment, that looks as washed out as he feels. 

But the words don't flow anymore. He's tried everything. So when his agent, Monty, tells him he loves his latest manuscript, Tommy is more than a little confused (while breaking the fourth wall a bit. The manuscript is 'What Makes You Die', but seems to tell a completely different story to this one). Monty returns his script with amendments and asks him for the next act by Monday. Tommy leaves panicked. The script is written on his paper, has his name, everything about it screams that he wrote it, but he can't remember writing it at all. 

He meets various characters, though I'm not sure how many of them are actually real, but neither is he, and attempts to find closure, or finish his script, or come to terms with his past, or any number of things.

If you're having trouble figuring out the plot, don't worry. The entire book is practically told constantly in Tommy's mind, with not too much dialogue. Because of this, if can be confusing for the reader, as Tommy's mind is a chaotic mess, his thoughts whirl around in his head, howling. It is a jumbled flow of information, that is hard to understand and yet somehow causes unease. I doubt even he understands half the stuff that happens in this story.

There are times when this book is quite tiring to read. There are no breaks in the story, just a constant, turbulent flow of turmoil, self-loathing and uncertainty, that takes its toll after a while.

This is a bleak, reasonably dark story, but with a surprising amount of humour. I would describe it more, but one of the characters  (Timmy Pic himself, in fact) explains it so well, I'll let him do it:

     "Innocent kid who hasn't had his liver torn out and stuck on a pike yet:

    Mr. Pic, some of your work is intensely stark and bleak, but it's also surprisingly funny. How do you manage to put so much emphasis on such spiritual pain and have laughs along the way?"

That describes his writing style in a nutshell. To hear the answer you'll have to read the book. Oh, and what a good answer it is. 

Going through the story, with its lack of direction, there comes a point when you believe you've found the plot. It seems like it's going to be this big thing, this conclusion, this remedy for his mind, something to fix the damage that begun so long ago and help get his life back on track. Then it finishes with a a completely different, very ordinary and not quite fitting ending. There is a hopeful air to it, though it's still a little unsure, but doesn't entirely work with the rest of the story. 

It's almost like the majority of the book is coated in deep fog, that makes it hard to tell what's going on, and then it lifts right at the very end and changes the story, it changes everything. The oddities that frequent the pages are made trivial and such a normal ending does not fit with the insanity that came before it. 

After finishing the book, I went back, thought about the plot and discovered it to be something very simple- a writer overcoming his writer's block. There are a few additions and complications, but that is basically what the story is, though you wouldn't know it. But they do say it's the journey and not the destination. 

Overall, this is an unusual book, quite macabre in places, and will most likely be a hit-or-miss kind of book. You'll either like it or you won't. For what it's worth, I enjoyed it, though most likely didn't understand most of it. I'm not even entirely sure whether most of the events in the book even happened or were just delusions of Tommy Pic's mind. I don't think he knows.

Maybe I enjoyed it because it was unusual. Because it's not something you read everyday. Why I enjoyed it isn't really relevant, all that matters is that I did- though the confusion does lessen than somewhat. 

Disclaimer: I received this book through a Librarything giveaway. This is not a sponsored review. All opinions are 100% my own. 

Cruel Jaws Has an Apt Name (Review)

                                               


Okay, so basically this film is about:

"A tiger shark bred by the Navy as a killing machine is wrecking havoc in the sleepy tourist town of Hampton Bay! In the meantime, the mafia is involved with sleazy real estate investments, and send their thugs to keep a lid on the fact the residents are destined for clam chowder... Sea World owner, Dag, and his dolphins come to the rescue to save Hampton Bay from both the mob and military covert operatives!" - Humberto Amador


The plot summary courtesy of IMDb. Okay, so basically this film was made in 1995 by Italian director Bruno Mattei. It was a TV movie and came out at 93 minutes. You can watch the trailer below:

                                             

Yeah, i know.....Okay, now onto the review. I can honestly say with absolute confidence, regardless of whatever I may see in the future, that this is the WORST film I have EVER seen. EVER. A little background info on it. First, there was Jaws, and it was amazing. Sure, there were flaws (as there are in everything), but it was an all round really great film and happens to be on my all time favourites list. Next, there was a huge amount of shark b-movies that (maybe) included "The Last Shark". Now, to me, this may have been a c-movie, but anyway, The Last Shark was pretty much a rip-off of Jaws, with the script following the EXACT plot of Jaws. It became known as "Italian Jaws" in fact. Oh, and it was so much the rip-off that Universal Pictures actually filed a law suit against them, and won.
So then there's Cruel Jaws. Now this film rips-off the rip-off. I'm not even kidding. They do pretty much the same thing, with even less structure, acting and clear plot, and actually take EXACT scenes from The Last Shark and re-use them in a slightly different, very incoherent way. I actually watched Cruel Jaws before The Last Shark and literally yelled out loud at my computer when I saw the duplicate scenes , outraged that anyone would steal scenes from something that was awful to begin with!
Okay, okay. Just to put into perspective just how awful this film is, there is a line in the film where an actor yells, "We're gonna need a bigger helicopter". I mean, come ON!! WTH?!
Overall, I give this film less than half a star. I mean it's really god awful and not even in an amusing, you can laugh at how terrible it is way. Thinking you could watch this film with friends and mock it- WRONG. Seriously, take it from me. I love to mock films with friends, just as much as I love finding a hidden gem, but watching the film makes you want to kill someone and just yell at the next person you see. Looking back on it, I really just want to tell people how bad it really is. I actually want it to come up in conversation so that I can put it down. And I don't say that often. It was a waste of 93 minutes of my life, but at least I can stop others from ever making the same mistake. Good luck to you.
Oh, and I try never to give spoilers, because I know how annoying that is. So, if you want reviews on the endings of anything I've done or haven't done, then just let me know and I'll create an add-on kinda thing.

Here are a my Top 20 Thoughts when watching this sorry excuse of a film:

1. Why must everyone keep INSISTING that it's a tiger shark, when the only footage they show us is of a great white?

2. Can nobody show ANY emotion in this film?! also, why does the "hero's" (and how loosely i use that 
word) girlfriend not care that if this guy doesn't do his job, people will DIE?!


3. oh GOD!!! i may have to find and KILL whoever wrote the script for this film! I mean "daddy, why do sharks kill people. because they're hungry. they're always hungry." WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?!


4. They've sunk to a new low, i didn't think it was possible, but when you hear "bob, let's run away together" you know it's only going to get worse.


5. I know the film was originally in Italian, but why is there a random 5 second segment in Italian?


6. Ooh, a shot of a mako shark! Hmm, is that closer to a tiger than a great white?


7. And now there's child abuse. What WAS this man thinking?!


8. *Shark on the ground in front of the actors* (Very obviously a great white) Man: " Well, it's a tiger shark alright." WHERE DID HE LEARN SUCH CRAP?! YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A SHARK EXPERT TO KNOW THAT A GREAT WHITE IS NOT A TIGER SHARK!!!


9. "Don't talk rubbish boy. This is not the place or the time." Oh, I'm sorry. When IS a good time to discuss whether this is actually the rogue shark that's killing people?


10. *A buoy pops up that we know is attached to the shark, and then slowly moves in between some racing windsurfers. A guy picks up some binoculars and (after a few seconds) spots the moving buoy* MASSIVE OVERREACTION TIME. "OH MY GOD!!!!! GET THEM OUT OF THE WATER!!!"
Ha, really film, really?


11. NARM!!! NAAAAARRRRRRMMMMMM!!! This film is nothing but awful, awful NARM!!


(for info on NARM, please follow the link : http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/Narm?from=Main.Narm


12. BWAHAHAHA! *Lots and lots of people, repeatedly screaming, "GET OUT! GET OUT OF THE WATER! GET OUUUUUTTTT! GET OUT OF THE WATER!!"about 50 times. Massive panic follows. Many people get eaten or trampled. Then another, "GET OUUUTTT!!" Silence and a pause, then, "Stay calm" is said ridiculously quietly.* If you wanted people to stay calm, you shouldn't have started screaming in such a loud and panicked way, should you?!


13. Wow. Standing still making over the top arm movements, while screaming the name of a loved one, about to die, repeatedly, throwing in a NOOOOOO for good measure. We all know how effective THAT is.


14. Ah, finally! A reasonably good message (for this film anyway). *Little girl (after the attacks) is in the hospital.* "Daddy, sharks are really bad." *Father looks over at the man who INSISTED the beaches stay open * (JAAAAAWWWWWWWWSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!) " There are far worse animals out there." Yay, a slightly redeeming feature!


15. And now it's terrible again. Sigh. 1995, you will forever be tainted with the fact that this movie was made in the same year as you.


16. Oh look. A map conveniently marked "It's Here" in big letters for the bad guys to find. 


17. Woman: "Be careful." *Starts to cry* Man: "Whatever happens, remember I love you." All said in monotone voices with NO emotion. And I mean less than ROBERT PATTINSON AS FREAKING EDWARD!! urge to kill RISING!!


18. And now there's star wars music. But I've come to expect this obvious ripping-off and complete randomness of this film.


19. Hmm, he says light the fuses. How do you light dynamite fuses underwater? And there is NO way in hell they would be able to get out of the water in time to not be killed. Unless they were fuses that reached Cuba. At least, I think that would be far enough. I'm not exactly sure where this is filmed. I mean they're all Italian, but Italy isn't once mentioned. Nor is any other place for that matter.


20. All I can say now is, thank GOD that's over.